The American Eagles have Landed: Pants on the Ground

I'm a big fan of American Idol, and twitter. And I missed out on all the fun until yesterday. I kept hearing about "Pants on the Ground" but had no idea what it meant. Honestly, I thought it was military speak. It turns out, 62-year-old "General" Larry Platt auditioned for American Idol, which was shown on Fox on Wednesday. The age limitation for contestants is 28, but Fox smartly let this audition through, and it's gone viral.

But this isn't like the William Hung audition of "She Bangs". Larry's is totally original, and a personal statement that young folks need to pull their pants up and straighten out their caps.



Here's a direct link to Fox. Better sound for sure:
American Idol Larry Platt Audition: Pants on the Ground

The lyrics:
Pants on the ground
Pants on the ground
Lookin' like a fool with your pants on the ground
With the gold in your mouth
Hat turned sideways
Pants hit the ground
Call yourself a cool cat
Looking like a fool
Walkin' downtown with your pants on the ground

Catchy. Hilarious. And being covered left and right.

I imagine we'll be seeing a lot of General Platt, most likely endorsing skinny jeans, dockers, or the Gap. And I, for one, hope his 15 minutes lasts a bit longer than most.

And here are just a few of the covers.

Acoustic cover by Brandon Gray:



Dane Ferguson:



The Beatbox Hitman (and laugh track) accompaniment:



Acoustic cover by Brent Morgan:



Jimmy Fallon (as Neil Young):



Larry, you're no fool.

New Year's Resolutions: If I believed all that spam email

I had fun on Twitter a few days ago when I started #SpamResolutions, but it just didn't catch on.

The basic idea: What would my New Year's resolutions look like if I believed the ridiculous spam emails I receive? Here is what I came up with:

• Meet my secret crush.
• Update my PayPal password via this handy link.
• Pay imaginary bills. I just got a SECCONND NOTICE!!
• Cancel my Dell order. I earned a free laptop!
• Do some comparison pricing of Lipit0R and L3v1trA
• Find my oppositely gendered doppelgänger on eHarmony
• Why, yes, I do want to make it massive/huge/big/large/gimongous/redonculous.
• Trust all emails that mention my name (without spaces) in the subject line. How do they know me?!
  
• ALLISON has sent me a message, and dammit, I'm going to read and respond.
• Quit my job and freelance as a mystery shopper for Victoria's Secret.
• Earn money and a masters degree from home in my footie pajamas.
• Attend a virtualization webinar. Whatever the hell that is.
• Renew my Canadian Viagra prescriptions online. Easily!
• Learn how to please her. Finally.
• Open those emails that I apparently sent to myself but forgot that I sent them to myself, but used my name in the subject line to remind me. They must be important.
  
• Launder my Nigerian fortune.
• Decrease my unsightly personal mass with the Acai Berry Diet. And the Taco Bell Drive-Thru Diet.
  

Happy New Year! I can't wait to find the new thin, over-educated, rich, sexed up me!

Add your own in the comments. It's fun!