I'm With Stupid and I'm Alone

Let's face it. You can't have a horror movie without stupid people. Common sense tells one not to enter the household when the door jamb has been obviously crowbarred. If flicking the light switch has no effect and you're not in a thunderstorm, turn around and walk away. And do not go in the basement if you can see your own steaming breath, or if the kitchen has just hurled all of the cabinet contents straight at your head. Stupid sense says: grab a flashlight and investigate. Pajama bottoms and a ripped wifebeater will offer all the protection you need.

When your car breaks down, common sense says: call AAA and wait for a professional. Stupid sense says flip open the hood and check the belts and hoses. You will be able to diagnose and fix the problem yourself with a tire pressure gauge and some hand sanitizer. Besides, flares are for wussies. I'm pretty sure this type of thinking is why observation areas for a hospital's Operating Room are hermetically sealed and are not on the same floor. No one wants you rooting around an open chest cavity because you've watched three seasons of House on Blu-Ray.

Today, I've joined the ranks of stupid is as stupid does. It started out fairly harmless. I went outside to remove a vine that had taken over a large pine tree in the front yard. I grabbed a shovel and an empty trash can (tomorrow they pick up yard waste for recycling). But I forgot the gardening gloves, and didn't feel like going back inside. I was on a schedule. Not a real schedule; the kind you make up in your head when you get up in the morning.

The plant reminded me of milkweed, something I remembered as a kid, except this was 12-feet tall. And it had berries. But I proceeded on, cut it up with a shovel and my bare hands, and put it out for tomorrow's recycling. It's pictured above.

Stupid. I have no idea what this plant is. I could have looked for some gardening gloves, or looked up the plant online on my smartphone, but I was already in the front yard and that might have taken 120 seconds of my precious time.

Now, after searching the web for an hour, I have no idea what this plant is. Here's hoping it's not poisonous. Wait? I hear something in the basement, and the dogs are getting ancy. Better go check it out.

Well Now I've Done It...

I put myself out there on the Baltimore Sun's Mobbies Awards. A contest for local bloggers and tweeters, it's a really great way to gain exposure, invite new readers and connect with some local people. I've asked family and friends to vote for this blog and for my personal Twitter account (@GCGeek), but I'm honestly not concerned about winning.

I can't even say "Just being nominated is an honor," because I nominated myself. Let's say I honored myself.

What's crazy is I've also signed up for NaNoWriMo (writing a novel in 30 days along with people across the globe - read my recent post on this fabulous event). I started yesterday, and it will take most of my attention when I'm not working the day job, which is not slowing down anytime soon.

But I should really give my blog some much needed attention, especially if folks are going to pop by and check it out. If you're a new reader, thank you for stopping in! If you're one of my regular readers, then you're a true friend and you deserve the same courtesy of some fresh content here.

All I can say is I'll do my best this month! This blog is listed under humor, which adds the extra pressure of "be funny!", which is always my goal, but everyone knows you can't force it. If you don't prefer my sense of humor or writing style, no hard feelings. I'm not in this for an ego trip. I like to write, and laugh, and think, and share, and hopefully make you laugh. And think. And share.

Hey, here's to a fun month of writing!

Cheers!
~Mike

Rally to Restore Sanity-I Was There! Sort of...

Yesterday I attended Jon Stewart's Rally to Restore Sanity, and Stephen Colbert's March to Keep Fear Alive. For those unaware, it was an invite to show solidarity among anyone who chooses to participate in downplaying the extremism fed to us by today's media. We're not at Civil War. We're simply desperate for objective information.

It was an afternoon of fun, interesting sights and civility in our nation's capital.

I'd like to tell you who I saw and what I heard, but I didn't arrive in DC until 10:30 AM. Knowing the Metro would be packed, most buses sold out and traffic truly insane, we chose to go by Amtrak. I live near BWI, and training in to Union Station was a breeze. Then we walked with lots of other folks to the Rally.

I'm pretty sure we actually did see Brendan Hines, who plays Eli Loker on Lie to Me, back at the BWI train station, but I didn't want to bug him. He's from Baltimore, so it's not out of the realm of possibilities. Yay! Celebrity sighting, and not just on a jumbo-tron.

I also saw a friend from work at the Rally, but she disappeared in the swarm before I could catch up to her.

I earned my first Foursquare badges, too. Not exactly a hippie moment, but the nerd in me was rejoicing.

The weather was fantastic. The atmosphere was true positivity. People smiling, displays of courtesy and lots of laughing - everyone was there to see the signs.

I was amused by a woman shouting "exact change only" at a food concession stand. Really? The lines were really, really long. I'd think after selling 200 hot dogs in 20 minutes, they'd have "change" again.

But never really planning this trip other than over a conversation Thursday night - "Hey, I was thinking about going to the Rally", and arriving so late, we couldn't get anywhere near, or even within earshot of, the stage. We got onto the lawn for a moment, but the density of people per square inch was tighter than [insert inappropriate sexual referene here] and just way too high for a 47-year-old who becomes a claustrophobe in crowds. At my age, personal space isn't just a right, it's a necessity. I was also carrying a small backpack for my camera, camcorder, cell phone, Kindle (WTF?) sweatshirt, mints - no, it's still not called a purse or a murse - that quickly became a hook for the swarms moving through, and I was spun faster than the "news". That was inside the gates. Outside the gates, where there were also lots of people but some breathing room, I was able to shoot some video, which may give you some perspective of the sheer numbers constantly pouring in. I'm not sure where they all ended up because this bitch was packed. But everyone seemed friendly and congenial.



This wasn't like a concert for me. I didn't need to see the stage, or be in any particular spot. I went because I wanted to be part of "it", whatever "it" was going to be. I love The Daily Show, and I like to believe most Americans are middle-of-the-road thinkers, who respect valid points from different perspectives, who support smart spending and helping neighbors when they need it, and appreciate a civil dialogue, even if it gets a little heated. I also assume they do not appreciate being force-fed hype, sensationalism or pure bullshit by spin-meisters from any side. And, there are a lot more than two sides.

I was hoping to hear the actual speeches, songs and stand-up routines, but I'm sure there's a DVD coming, and I'll be the first to buy it.

I'm glad I went. The dreamer in me hoped I would bump into Jon and the producers of The Daily Show, impress them with my wit and be invited to an after-party, and ultimately offered a writing gig. And a hot dog. But I didn't even bring a sign, let alone my résumé.

And yesterday wasn't about me. It was about us.