It can’t be just me. In fact, I know it’s not just me because my friend pointed this out. Why do the successful matches on eHarmony commercials look more like siblings rather than couples? I immediately think of those people are their pets email chains. I believe their system of matching across 29 dimensions could be substituted with a quick cheek swab and a genetic database.
It appears when applicants fill out a questionnaire on what they’re looking for, it turns out to be themselves (in drag). OK, having things in common is great, but having everything in common? Hair color, chin shape, nose, location of their dimples? Their slogan should be “Why waste time transforming into your partner by aging gracefully – we’ll cut to the chase for you.”
The next time you see an eHarmony commercial, you’ll realize what I’m talking about. Or check out the success stories on their website (http://www.eharmony.com/singles/servlet/success/eh-tv-couples). Those matching smiles are just disturbing!
If you get rejected by eHarmony be thankful. You may have saved yourself from two very embarrassing things: (1) Not telling the world “I’m a narcissistic, self-centered egomaniac who only finds happiness dating a live action mirror.” And (2) Not dating your cousin (or worse). Maybe an “I’m with stupid” t-shirt would actually be appropriate in this case.
(Postscript: At the risk of explaining the punchline, the title was not meant as a crass request like asking a butcher to pull a t-bone off the shelf - "fetch" is synonymous with doppelgänger, which is German for double-walker.)