Saturday, February 06, 2010

Top 10 Things A Man Would Rather Be Doing On Valentine’s Day

A freelance article I wrote recently posted here: Ask Matt & Tamsen

Top Ten Things a Man Would Rather be Doing on Valentine's Day than Celebrating

10. Filing Taxes - The lesser of two evils when it comes to procrastination: buy a gift or do my taxes? I'm in the dog house if I don't get a gift, but I can go to jail if I don’t get my taxes done. And I’m too pretty for prison.

9. Watching Football - Yes, we’d rather be watching football on any day but on February 14th we’re still in mourning, with the season just ending. Allow us to pay our respects watching ESPN Classic all day.

8. Getting a Colonoscopy - Fun? No. But at least I can sleep through it.

7. Buying Groceries - OK, I hate grocery shopping but at least I come home with something I picked myself that I can enjoy, instead of a stuffed bear with a squeeze-me paw.

6. Getting a Root Canal - Extreme? Yes. But they give you all kinds of meds to forget the experience, and you take more home with you. Plus that nagging toothache is finally gone.

5. Organizing the Sock Drawer - It never mattered before but now it totally seems worth doing!

4. Meeting the Neighbors - I was OK in my private domain with everyone minding their own business, but maybe they have hi-def. And beer.

3. Going to the DMV - At least I can talk about cars, even if it's just my own. With a clerk. After standing in line for 2-3 hours. But we won't be talking about our relationship!

2. Sleeping – I don’t mean sleeping with someone else, I mean skipping the whole red-card, candy-filled day.

1. Dinner and a Movie - And by dinner I mean ordering pizza, and by a movie I mean anything with explosions and comedy, and without romance or...romance.


One Wink at a Time said...

Wow, you really hate Valentine's Day! lol And you really have a strong grasp of the worst things in life.
You reminded me of a song I love... Pay special attention @1:30 The lyrics are awesome... "The red cliche`..."

Mike said...

I really do, and not because I'm anti-love, anti-relationships or anti-marriage. I don't like this holiday because it pushes materialism more than Christmas. It forces romance and completely disregards those not in a relationship. Waaaaaay too much weight is put on coupledom; and I know too many people that base a lot of their misery on not being in a couple. And it's the marketing is so female-based, I think it does a disservice to women. I do feel people should celebrate their milestones and each other - I just don't like the calendar, other than anniversaries, telling them when. It does not mean I am without romance - you'll see another piece which I feel proves the opposite. :-)

Mike said...

I like the lyrics! And this is the exact misery of which I speak. As Chrissie Hynde sings, there's a thin line between love and hate, and when people cross it, it is so ugly.

One Wink at a Time said...

Mike, I knew you would identify with the guy in the song.
I have to agree with you on maybe all of your points. My husband and I do not do gifts for the "holiday." As I explained in my other comment, our first date anniversary takes precedence over VD and we use it to celebrate the beginning of our relationship.
Many women I know are expecting roses and diamonds and whatever else this weekend for silly materialistic proof that their men really do care. Sorry, I will never buy into that. And as for the men, I feel way sorry for those who feel they have to perform the perfunctory gift-giving in order to survive the day. Not only is it a poor substitute for showing that you care, it's expensive and the retailers take gross advantage of the emotional (read: guilt) factor.
For me, the best way to celebrate VD is to just make a point of telling those you love, that you DO.

Mike said...

Thanks, Linda! And the fact you and your hubs recreate your first date every year and make it your own is the most romantic thing in the world. I love it!